Day 3-Mercy vs. Sacrifice

My Prayer:
Psalm 16:8 (New International Version)
I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.



The Reading: Matthew 7-9
Matthew 9:10-13 (New International Version)

10While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 11When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

12On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."


My Thoughts: First, the difference in mercy and sacrifice...
Mercy: Compassionate treatment, especially of those under one's power; clemency.
A disposition to be kind and forgiving: a heart full of mercy.
Something for which to be thankful; a blessing: It was a mercy that no one was hurt.
Alleviation of distress; relief: Taking in the refugees was an act of mercy.
Sacrifice: The act of offering something to a deity in propitiation or homage, especially the ritual slaughter of an animal or a person.
A victim offered in this way.
Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.

I think mercy may be more difficult than sacrifice. The Pharisees probably understood this, too. Sacrifice is like making the check mark in the book...doesn't really matter why you do it, just do it because that's the rule...and it has victims. I can understand why Jesus didn't want victims. As a person who has said more than once that I lack the gift of mercy, I also understand why this has to be stated and it has to be a calling. It's hard to love some people...like me, but it's also the quality that the world looks for in a Christian...and marks when it's missing. It's one of those ways that the world knows that we're different. I definitely need to practice it more.

Day 2-So far, so good

A celebration at two days is a little premature, but I have to take the opportunities as they arise.

My Prayer:
Psalm 119: 116
Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.

The Reading: Matthew 4-6
Matthew 5:46-48 (The Message)
43-47"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

48"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

Matthew 6:6-15 (New International Version)
6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

9"This, then, is how you should pray:
" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us today our daily bread.
12Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.[a]' 14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

My thoughts: As I was reading this, I thought about my post about someone asking if I was praying for her and how sad it is when I can't answer "Yes." I am supposed to be praying for her, but I feel disconnected so it's hard to pray. The pipeline is broken. Last week, I had 2 other prayer requests which were even harder. I like the first person. Persons 2 and 3...not so much...each has said something about me or to me that I can't forget. So what do I do? This one is sort of easier...I have to forgive them, I feel like I have to pray for them. I want my sins to be forgiven. Even better, I'd really like for mine to also be forgotten. So I did say a quick,specific prayer for Persons 2 and 3 last week. Then, of course, I ruin it all by patting myself on the back for doing the right thing. Maybe I can redeem myself with Person 1. She's worth the effort. So for her, I pray for wisdom and joy and blessings so that she will see that God is good. I know that Jesus became God with Us for me...and for her. I'm praying that she'll see that too. I really hope that starting late can be made up for with sincerity!

Day 1-Making a Plan

Here's the new plan (because I have to do something, to start somewhere):
90 days to read through the New Testament (laid out by Rick Warren at purposedrivenlife.org. I've tried for a year before...and reading the NT in 30 days...both seemed a little too ambitious!)
15 minutes of quiet time every morning
And prayer.

My Prayer: Psalm 51: 10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

The Reading: Matthew 1-3
Matthew 1:21, 23 Names of Jesus
21She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,[a] because he will save his people from their sins." (Jesus is the Greek form of Joshua, which means the LORD saves.)
23"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."

My thoughts:
When I couldn't go to God, He came to me. And what a sacrifice that was. What a love that would provoke such a sacrifice. I don't understand that love just like I don't understand why life is the way it is. But I can still be grateful for the gift and the reminder that God is not separated from me. God is with me. Because of the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, God is with me now and always, even to the end of the age. He is unshaken even when I falter. To find my way, I only have to look.

And apparently I'm always going to have a song, too. When I read this about Joseph taking his family to Eqypt, I hear a song by Rich Mullins called My Deliverer is coming. If you'd rather hear the song and watch a slideshow of images reflecting Jesus' life, you can check out the YouTube clip. I managed to maintain my composure to only a few sniffles.

Kleenex Warning

Today our church service began with a Kleenex warning. Now, I can cry at the drop of a hat in a church service...something about the music, the worship, the sincerity, the comfort just breaks my heart again and again. I think that's why I've been avoiding church.

I thought I was safe with the Memorial Day Service...but patriotic songs and honoring our military are enough to choke me up. At least I was smart enough to avoid Mother's Day. I have the same plan for Father's Day...just an ordinary, average day. Someone said to me last week that I seem to be coping better now than I have at other times. I think that's funny. And from someone who knows me well. My way to cope...be very, very busy. Too busy to think about upsetting things. And add to that a complete avoidance of the things that might upset me...even if they're things I enjoy (baseball with my family) or need to do (a phone call to my mom's best friend) or impact my life (church and worship). If I do those things, the cracks appear. It's much easier to be alone, occupy my time with busyness, and just pretend that I'm fine.
Today I realized as I was feeling/surreptitiously (sorry, Mary, it's really the best word choice) wiping away the tears that I'm just so far away from God. But I did that. I did it to protect myself and to pretend that I'm strong and I'm fine. But I'm not. And I won't be where I am. So...now comes the tough part...finding my way back.

I've heard this song over and over the past few days. And I cry. Usually in the car, on the way in to work. I should come with a permanent Kleenex attachment. Click on the link to hear the song. It's Amazing Grace with a little update.

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) Lyrics

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost,
but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood
His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid431790421/bclid431783010/bctid533390757

Immanuel, God with us

Lots of Christian writers and speakers spend time trying to "prove" the Christian faith, specifically regarding his death and resurrection. Yesterday I heard a news story on the way in to work about how many non-Christians do believe in the resurrection of Jesus. Here's an excerpt from the Christian Post (which I did not even know existed):

Study: Most Non-Born-Again Christians Still Believe Jesus Resurrected
By Audrey Barrick, Christian Post Reporter, Tue, Apr. 03 2007 12:27 PM ET

While Christians and documentaries try to prove the resurrection of Christ this Easter, a surprising new study reveals they may not need to. Many already believe Jesus rose from the dead 2,000 years ago.

According to recent research by the Center for Missional Research of the North American Mission Board – the Southern Baptist domestic mission agency – 75 percent of Americans who say they are not born-again Christians still believe the biblical account of Jesus literally coming back to life in his physical body.

I've said a million times that I have a simple faith. I'm not troubled by inconsistencies or doubts about the logic or reason behind a Christian faith, but it does seem that accepting the fact that Jesus came back to life would be more difficult than understanding that he did it to save me. We have records of his works, his teachings, his life, and if we believe that he was hung on a cross, died, and rose again three days later, we know he was also supernatural, unlike men who came before or since. How can we not believe that he was who he said he was or that he would do what he said he came to do? Like I said, I have a simple faith so I'll probably never be able to understand this, but I'm going to keep thinking about it!

Matthew 28
The Resurrection
1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
2There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."

The Guards' Report

11While the women were on their way, some of the guards went into the city and reported to the chief priests everything that had happened. 12When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, 13telling them, "You are to say, 'His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.' 14If this report gets to the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble." 15So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day.
The Great Commission

16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Maybe tomorrow

Warning: this is a funky feeling day and I think this post is going to be a total downer. I'm just in a weird mood, a little sad because I worked on taxes all night and some this morning before I came in to work (and boy, am I going to pay, pay, pay). Two things are upsetting me: looking at all the prescriptions my mother paid for, doctors she visited, tests she had and knowing how much of that she carried all alone and looking at all the tax forms marked DECEASED. I just can't get away from remembering that last minute. And then I listened to Christian music on the way in to work, so I'm still a mess. Thank goodness I have hope for the future because today appears to be a total downer! Maybe I'll snap out of it. I put the flower up because I want to be cheered up, and if yellow flowers (even though they are technically the weeds taking over my backyard) don't do it, nothing will! Thinking good things: yellow flowers, yarn, puppies (insert token Darcy shot here)...


MercyMe's Homesick lyrics
You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

Verse-a-day

So today I got this in my e-mail. Thought it worked with my post from yesterday.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-- 2 Corinthians 4:18


THOUGHT:
What do you see most clearly today? Is it what is seen or what
is unseen? No matter our belief system, we ultimately have to trust
what we can't see. Even the most atheistic scientists trust
gravity, breathe air, and depend upon principles they cannot see
until these realities produce results in the tangible world of
human perception. But as Christians, we don't believe the seen
world is any more real as the unseen world. In fact, most of the
seen world is subject to death, disease, disaster, decay, disorder,
and death. I don't know about you, but if it isn't any more
permanent than that, it's not going to be very real for any of us
for very long. I want to hang on to something that allows me to
look past the seen and to find my Father who is unseen. He is the
one who guarantees the unseen!