Where is your hope?

If it were not for hope, the heart would break.

-- Thomas Fuller

Psalm 62:5-6
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

I have a hard time imagining life without hope, but I think there are people living that way. To me, hope is key to survival, the belief that tomorrow can be better than today. Some days are great days, but every life has the days that aren't great, aren't happy, are frustrating and defeating and stressful. I might mess up or disappoint myself or someone else or something that's out of my control can shake everything, but tomorrow can be better. I hope it's going to be better. I believe that it can be better. Of course, I know where my hope is. And I'm so thankful today that God does not change. He doesn't get angry, give up, or walk away from me. I may blow from here to there, go away and come back, make bad choices or stop listening, but God doesn't give up, doesn't move, doesn't change. And tomorrow can be better, and someday it will be the best. I have hope.

Lift my eyes

There's just nothing like needing help to renew faith, is there? Things are rocking along smoothly and there's really no need to involve God in my plans. Throw a wrench in the works and I suddenly remember where my help comes from. Yesterday I mentioned sleepless nights. I've moved on to nervous eating during the day. I'm not sure what the next step in the escalation is but I've got to manage to take care of this one. I had a few quiet moments yesterday between one thing and the next where I sat and desperately prayed. I don't know how God keeps from getting fed up. This happens over and over with me. I sort of hope He rolls his eyes just like I would in the same spot. Praying for clear direction and security. Over and over. Security seems iffy based on what I'm re-reading about getting out of the boat so I've sort of pinned my hopes on the "clear direction" part of the equation.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

I'm a thinker. I spend too much time in my head. Thinking. And last night was one of those nights where the thinking started and just wouldn't stop. To try to shut it all down, all the worries about whether or not I'm doing the right thing or making the right decision or headed for failure or...or..., I picked up John Ortberg's book If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get OUt of the Boat. The man likes long titles. It's a look at the story where Peter walks on water. For a minute. Until he sees the wind.

I'm not sure it quieted my mind but I had something new to think about. As long as Jesus commands me, I'm going to get out of the boat. The next question: How can I be sure of the command?

Dark alleys

The next time you find yourself alone in a dark alley facing the
undeniables of life, don't cover them with a blanket, or ignore
them with a nervous grin. Don't turn up the TV and pretend they
aren't there. Instead, stand still, whisper his name, and
listen. He is nearer than you think.

-- Max Lucado

I had this conversation with a single friend over dinner where she mentioned going out at night to investigate a loud noise. This is against my policy. I don't do that. I stay very quiet inside, with my ears peeled for the slightest noise, and pretend I am not there. The ostrich defense...I stick my head in the sand until it goes away. This has worked effectively for me for years.

I like this quote my Max Lucado because the truth is that this approach doesn't really work. Most of the real concerns of life just don't disappear. Tv helps cover them up and I can pretend all day long that I don't see them, but that's not what God's called me to do. How often do I just stand still, whisper his name, and listen? Not often enough.

Faith and trust

Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that
He will not stand by us.

-- Oswald Chambers

I got this quote in email yesterday and I've been thinking about it. I've known for some time that my problem is trust...in lots of areas. I've had the kind of faith that never dreamed that God would not deliver. But I've also had the disappointing discovery that that's not a promise like I want it to be...God will always deliver exactly what I want. So for a while I've struggled to understand the "stand by" part of this quote. I was bothered yesterday by the idea that my faith is weak because I do wonder whether God is standing by. Today, I'm reminded that God has promised never to leave me or forsake me. I know that. I don't doubt that for a minute. I do have my doubts that He's going to do what I think is best. And He never promised that. Thank goodness.

So what does silence mean?

I think it means I'm not listening. I'm not paying attention. And I'm certainly not inspired to blog about not listening, not paying attention. I can usually count on that to happen sometime around this holiday. I really don't understand it...Christmas music in the stores, on the radio, on the television...and I'm too wrapped up in the busy-ness to really listen. I'm going to do better. I say that so often, right?

Anyway, as I was posting via YouTube videos on the other blog, I ran across this song by Matthew West and Mandisa (yes, that Mandisa). It's kind of a hokey video but I do like the song..."Christmas Makes Me Cry." It's not as uplifting as dogs barking out "Jingle Bells" but it is a great reminder of why Christmas can be bittersweet to most of us.

Been there?

Romans 8:26 (The Message)

26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Ever been to the point you don't even know what to pray? I came across a card that someone gave me with the verse included. It wasn't in the Message translation so I thought I'd check it out. "He does our praying for us." When we don't know what to pray, the Holy Spirit comes alongside and does our praying for us. It's hard to imagine but what a gift. He knows us better than we know ourselves...this is something that I've been thinking about lately. Too many conversations about why I feel the way I do about myself maybe... Wouldn't it be great to see, even if just for one minute, myself the way that God sees me?