Fearless? Not so much

I went to the Marketplace Connection lunch today and it was good. Really good. If you consider blinking back the emotion so you don't drip in your pizza good. And I sorta do. Sometimes you just need to be forced to think about things, you know? It turns out...apparently I live a more fear-y life than I should. I probably could have told you that before the lunch, but I don't really like to think about it too much because I know that as a Christian, I should have a fear-free life. And I've mostly conquered some biggies (the economy, threat of global nuclear melt down, impending swine flu doom...shrug. I can't do much about those.) but the little fears, the ones that have to do with my own view of me (what my next failure will be, never measuring up), trip me up every day. And I make a little progress and then...somehow...wind up further behind than before.
F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-O-N!

Thank God that God never gives up on me. He may be pretty frustrated too, but I can't blame Him. You'd be frustrated with me too if you heard all the same-old tired conversation that goes on in my head, mainly about my faults and failures and doubts. Sheesh. I think I'd rather see myself the way other people see me than be stuck with my view on the matter, and the opinion of the world is nothing compared to what God thinks.

Still, there's only one thing to be done. Start again. It happens this way. I try too much and get tired and take my eyes off what's important. Focus. I have to focus on God. He'll do the rest.


Galatians 3
2-4Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!