God is good

I just got home from a retreat with the singles group from my church. Before we left, we met to talk about what we learned on the trip. And I have to say that I am reminded again that God is good. I'm certain there's a name for whatever my problem is but situations like this fill me with anxiety. For weeks before, I was excited by the thought and then the day dawned and I was filled with dread. This happens time and again in my life. I'm sure I have some disorder, but I'll just stick with "shy" because it sounds sorta cute.

The cause: I have an almost unchanging conviction that I am less...less interesting, less funny, less likable. And it takes me a while to work out of that shyness around any group. I've been a part of the singles group for a year. One year of listening and inching out time and again. But this weekend was a little bit of immersion...new people in unfamiliar surroundings. And then there were swimsuits involved.

I will say this about me...I don't back down. Usually. I soldier on, grimly determined that I can make it through no matter what, it'll be good for me, etc. And this weekend, I was reminded again and again that God is good. He called me to live in community with people like these...fun people, funny people, people who will encourage me and together we can accomplish great things.

Again I was reminded...God is good. And what He calls me to do, he will give me the power to do. And I did it. And I expect my relationships with this part of my Christian family to be different. It's difficult to be inauthentic with someone who's seen you in a bathing suit.