Transparency

Proverbs 23:7 (New American Standard Bible)
7For as he thinks within himself, so he is.

Do you ever wonder how the world sees you? I'm a thinker. I'm happy to listen to conversations flow around me and think, to observe the people around me and think. I don't have to be the center of attention. In fact, I'd prefer not to be. I think this quietness or reserve gives the people around me an idea of who I am that may just be a little off.

I know people who think my halo is untarnished...I never think a bad thing, say a bad thing, do things I shouldn't because I'm a Christian, a good person, a good girl. Unfortunately, that just isn't true. I worry about those people a little. As soon as I stumble with them, I become just another hypocrite. You know, the reason people can't go to church...all the hypocrites. You've heard that, right?

So I try my best not to represent myself as flawless...but that's such a battle because perfection is really all that's acceptable. For me, anyway. I want to fake it, to pretend perfection. Clearly, my thoughts are different than my actions. And together, my brain and my mouth are dangerous.

Of course, there are some things that are easier to admit to...and I'm willing to be transparent there. There are some things that only God knows, even with an untarnished halo. And there's so much more work to do with whole "renewing of my mind" business.