In an ambulance?

Today in our Easter message, the preacher used a story as an illustration. In a nutshell: a little boy who had cancer befriended Beth Ann, who also had cancer. She died. He went to the funeral. He told his mother that when he died he didn't want to go to the cemetery in a hearse. He wanted to go in an ambulance, sirens wailing and lights flashing, so that Beth Ann would know he was on his way.

I remember the story. And it was a good illustration because Easter gives us that great gift, victory over death. Death is scary, particularly when you stand on one side and someone you love is stepping through or is already on the other side. My aunt told me a story too. Her story was real, a family in church, the mother both very clearly very sick and very clearly loved by her husband and her kids. If this truly was their last Easter together here, that husband and those kids are going to have a hard time, but her hard time is coming to an end. And she has no reason to fear that end. What a gift is Easter!

And honestly, I don't think you can understand that gift until you are separated by death from someone you dearly love. I understand and Easter is bittersweet because of it.

1 Peter 1
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Marketplace Connection

You know how you promise yourself that you're going to do better? Maybe that's just me. I had every intention of doing better, getting all my blogs done and all the things I need to do for all my extracurricular activities done with time to spare.

But I'm late. I haven't done better. In fact, I've done worse this week.

I have a looong list of excuses.
But I'm not going to share them.
And I needed a blog post so I'm using this, something I meant to do better earlier this week (so it may show up again), but this is my first ever attempt at building a website. I've been working with Marketplace Connection for almost a year and I've done some things I didn't know I could do. And it's just a website, following templates (which is more difficult than it sounds), and it took some time, but I feel pretty good about doing something I didn't know I could do. Yes, someone else could do better, but right now, I'm available and I worked at it even when I wanted to just say "Not me" and it's up and running. And that's a battle that I fight sometimes and it feels good to accomplish something new when you really have your doubts. You know? (Of course, it would feel even better for the right person to show up and take it over and improve it and pat me on the head and send me on my way. I'm just going to patiently wait for that day. OK, well, I'm going to wait anyway.)

And that reminded me of Ephesians where Paul says that God can do "immeasurably more" than we can imagine. That probably means that we can too. Here it is in the Message (Eph. 3:20)

^20-21God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

If you want to see all the bells and whistles (and who doesn't?), go to www.marketplaceconnectionarkansas.com. If you're web-design-gifted and would like to improve the MC site, let's talk. Seriously. I'll be posting more info here soon (and casting a net for volunteers to help) about our upcoming fund raiser. I think it's gonna be good.

Next week, I'm so totally going to do better. I mean it.

New things

Sometimes I can find an image that just perfectly fits my mood. This is a Mary Engelbreit print that I've been holding in reserve for some time now. Today, I'm calling it out off the bench (I have no idea where the sports references come from. They just do sometimes. Maybe they lurk in my brain somewhere.)

So far it's been a Cheetos kinda day. They happen every now and then, usually when I'm ready for a new thing.

Isaiah 43:19 (New International Version)

¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

POV

Types of Point of View
(Note: the picture has very little to do with the post. I just needed a picture. Posts need pictures. Right? And when I was searching for a match to "point of view", I found this one. And now I totally need one of these for Darcy.


Objective Point of View
The writer tells what happens without stating more than can be inferred from the story's action and dialogue. The narrator never discloses anything about what the characters think or feel, remaining a detached observer.

Third Person Point of View
Here the narrator does not participate in the action of the story as one of the characters. We learn about the characters through this outside voice.

First Person Point of View
In the first person point of view, the narrator does participate in the action of the story. When reading stories in the first person, we need to realize that what the narrator is recounting might not be the objective truth. We should question the trustworthiness of the accounting.

Omniscient and Limited Omniscient Points of View
A narrator who knows everything about all the characters is all knowing, or omniscient. A narrator whose knowledge is limited to one character, either major or minor, has a limited omniscient point of view.

I've been doing some reading and listening about writing, thanks to my crazy resolution to write that book this year. As the calendar pages flip, the chances of that actually happening are getting smaller and smaller. I think that's OK because I am making some progress: writing groups, entering a contest, thinking about taking workshops...baby steps. And I was reading about point of view last night.

It's funny how the definition works. First Person....might not be the objective truth. Have you ever run into that? It's usually illustrated to me by someone else who points out that my view on something is askew. Maybe it's the way I see myself. That happens to me quite often. Really, all the time my view of myself is wrong. And the way I view the world always comes through my filter, a filter built over a lifetime through an imperfect narration of events.

And then third person...what other people see when they look at you and your life. And that's just never accurate. It's never right because all that observation comes through another filter, built from life, and also because we hide what's inside. The pieces that are too painful, too embarrassing, too scary to show, we cover up.

And then the omniscient narrator...wouldn't it be something to read the book that God wrote about your life? The narrator who knows all, knows your motivations, your hurts, your desires. Maybe. Maybe not. I think I might be one of those who can't handle the truth, but seeing myself from that point of view would be something.

And then to think that such a narrator, the one actually writing and telling my story, might like me anyway, love me with my flaws enough to reach for me...that really would be something.

Psalm 139
A David Psalm
1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!

One more song

I can't put the video here, but you can click here to see the video, and it's, like, professional and everything as The Fray is on the radio and MTV and so this video is actually worth watching. I like The Fray and I've been listening to and pondering this song. So far, all I can come up with is "I understand. I've been there." It's not an encouraging song but it is so, so honest. So then I go and listen to Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise" again because...that's just the way it is.

The lyrics:
I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where've you been?" He said, "Ask anything."

Where were you, when everything was falling apart.
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

But in the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not and who I wanna to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

The early morning, the city breaks
And I've been calling for years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve taking all I want

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, Where were you? Where were you?

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

Why'd you have to wait, to find me, to find me?


This is what the lead singer says about the song:
"You Found Me is a tough song for me. Its about the disappointment, the heart ache, the let down that comes with life. Sometimes you're let down, sometimes you're the one who lets someone else down. It gets hard to know who you can trust, who you can count on. This song came out of a tough time, and I'm still right in the thick of it. There's some difficult circumstances my family and friends have been going through over the past year or so and can be overwhelming. It wears on me. It demands so much of my faith to keep believing, keep hoping in the unseen. Sometimes the tunnel has a light at the end, but usually they just look black as night. This song is about that feeling, and the hope that I still have, buried deep in my chest."

Going through the motions

I guess I'm turning this into a music blog this week. This is the other song that I'm playing over and over and over. Matthew West's "The Motions." I think I mentioned to someone just yesterday how every day seems the same and there's a lot of comfort in that. But comfort isn't really the goal. I think that's why this song is staying with me. I don't want to waste my life going through the motions, safe in my routine but just a little disconnected. I think that may be part of the danger of my hermit lifestyle. I want something more, that passion that leads you to make a difference. But...that feels like one of those dangerous things to say or pray, so right now I'm just singing it over and over and thinking about it as I do.

Uh oh.

My latest "most played"

Part of my compulsion issues force me to listen to songs that I really like over and over and over. I hope I'm not alone! For some reason, this song is really on my mind a lot lately. It's Chris Tomlin, "I Will Rise" and I managed to find a video (without any strange (to me anyway) paintings included). I hope you like it too! The other is Matthew West. I'll have a looksee to try to find a video for it too. I left my iPod at home today so I haven't gotten my fix yet.