Motivation

This has been one of those weeks where I've done some growing, tried some new things that worked out. I love those times. I like to learn new things, but to be happy, I have to be good at those things. And beginners aren't usually good. Most things take practice and stick-to-it-ive-ness in order to be really successful.

This week, I cooked. I don't cook. This week, I cooked 5 nights out of 7. I cooked new things and they were edible and I call that success.

I tried the American Christian Writers meeting and it was fabulous, so much fun. Of course, the idea that they also meet to critique writing causes me to pause. Memories of my Creative Writing course at Ouachita rear up...I never wanted a class to end as badly as I wanted that one to be over, not even Finance, Economics, or Statistics. And it wasn't the writing. It was the class critique, which was always good but also always had the threat of being not-so-good. And I think if you write, criticism follows (not sure, but I think that's how it's supposed to work, right? Maybe I should rethink this goal!), but that's a worry for some other time. Let's see if I actually get anything written first.

And at our time management Lunch & Learn, I realized that I could do the things I want to do, the things that are a part of my purpose. There is really nothing holding me back. The biggest obstacle: time wasters. I've got to get control of my time wasters. And I'm motivated right now. Maybe I'll try to work on that this weekend, but I really like those time wasters so it's going to take some prayer! So this is another question of focus, keeping my eyes on where I'm going and waving off distractions...yep, gonna take some prayer.

Hebrews 12

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

A little light-headed

I'm doing a little branching out and the change in atmosphere is making me a little light-headed. I don't network. I don't mingle. I'm much better at forming a cluster with my friends than meeting new people. I am pretty good at keeping the cluster together because I hate to see anyone left out, but being out on my own is a scary thing.

So at the last Marketplace Connection lunch, I had to make a decision: force my friend to bunch up to make room for me at their filled table or find someone new to sit with. And in a shocking turn of events (tied mainly to the fact that I don't like to bother people either), I sat at a different table and made conversation with people I didn't know well. And then Mary invited me to the meeting of the American Christian Writers chapter at FamilyLife. And the topic is perfect for me. And I'm going (because, well, you know...I guess I've decided I'm going to try to be a writer and all). All this newness...it's going to be OK, right? Sure it will.

Update

So, while I'm still sticking with the resolutions, here's an update:
1. Jewelry: none. I went a little shop-looking but no buying.
2. Diet Cokes: well, I was off to a good start, but now I'm sliding. I'm back up to 3, one with each meal.
3. Diet and exercise: so far, so good. I've managed to do something to move around a bit more than usual every day and have lost 4 whole pounds. It seems like it should be 400 but no, only 4. In fact, I even cooked this weekend. Twice. It is shocking. AND there were no potholders lost in the effort. I think I'm getting better.
4. The book: I spent some time this weekend re-reading what I've written on the blogs to see if my subject is lurking around here. I think it is, but that's as far as I've made it.
5. Soul mate: well, yeah, see, it's like this...no news here.

52 Blessings Week 5: Encouraging Words

As I was trudging up the hill to my house last night after an unprecedented fifth lap around my neighborhood, I felt like there should be a finish line with lots of people cheering for me. Each lap is only half of a mile, but it's the hills...the hills! It felt like a big deal to me, but the rest of the world...missed it, just went on with their stuff. And that's how it should be. If there really had been a finish line and a crowd waiting, I might never have started. I don't need that much pressure!

Real life is just like that to me. When I feel like celebrating a success, the rest of the world might celebrate with me, but when I'm struggling, it often seems like I struggle alone. And yesterday I was disappointed. Disappointed in people. It's really easy to get that way, but it's a mistake to stay that way. And that's when you need some encouraging words, whether it's that you did a good job or are making progress or don't have to feel bad because you can't do it all or maybe it's just a reminder that you aren't alone.

If you are an encourager by nature, you don't get enough credit. Thank you. You are a joy to be around. I'm lucky enough to know several. I'm not an encourager, not because I don't care or don't want to be, but usually because I'm just oblivious, wrapped up in my own stuff. I need to be more aware because I understand what a difference the right words can make.

1Thessalonians 5:11
11Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Ups and Downs

I need some phraseology help if any of you out there are good at that sorta thing. I know there's a downhome saying about having to take your own advice, something about eating what you cooked and this post would be so much better if it would come to me. But it won't, so we move on!

I was reading my first writing sample for Marketplace Connection that went out this morning about resolutions. As I read, I thought to myself, "Well, crud. I did say that, didn't I?" And I made some this year. Of course, I didn't stick to my own advice. That would be too easy. Here's what I came up with:

1. Buy more jewelry (this I can do. Got it. No problem, since more would just be...like, a pair of earrings. I'm not a good shopper.)
2. Work on my Diet Coke thing. I was using "Quit Smoking", but I don't smoke so that's just cheating. Right? It is, right? Because I'd still like to use it because it's easy but...OK, it's cheating. So I managed to cut down to 1 a day. Until yesterday. And already today. This isn't looking good.
3. Lose weight and exercise more. The problem with this one is that it's way too general. And that's probably my only hope of meeting it! Still, so far, I've managed to diet for 4 days. And exercise for 4 days. Not a record, but a modest success.
4. Write that book I've been meaning to get done. This could be the biggest violation on my list: it's not simple and with all the dieting and exercise, my brain is not functioning as well as it used to.
5. And I put "Find my soulmate" down because it was on the list of most popular resolutions. And I thought it was funny. And I figure...if it's that easy for everyone else, I ought to be able to do it too, ignoring all the evidence to the contrary. Right? I'm pretty sure writing the book is going to be easier than this one.

Really, as I look at the list, they're all things I want to do. And with the exception of #5, I think they are all things I can do, things I will do. So, overall, not too bad.

And then I run through the things that I've been thinking and saying to myself all week. Defeating myself before I've even begun. That's the thing with me. I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. If you look at the post right before this one, it was all about fresh starts. I believed it then and now I'm beating myself up over the past. And that just has to stop.

I do believe God is going to do a new thing. And He will do it in my life if I'll just get out of the way. I have to keep my eye on the goal, stop looking back. In Philippians 3:12-16 (Msg), Paul wrote:

Focused on the Goal
12-14I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

15-16So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it.

I'm fairly certain this is going to take some patience. And that's not one of my strong points. Paul's a great example. I don't have it all together either, but I can't let that stop me. I've gotta get on the right track and stay on it!

52 Blessings Week 4: Fresh Starts

I love the week between Christmas and New Year's day. I normally store up vacation so that I have a great break at a great time. And it's the time of resolutions and thinking about what you want the next year to be like. And new calendar pages. I really like blank calendars. It's a shame that they get so crowded and cluttered so soon! Today I'm really thinking about what a blessing it is that we get to start over.

I stepped on a scale. And immediately regretted it. But the fact is that the number that shows up there is something that is in my power to change. I should know. I've done it over and over and over and over...but this time could be different. I'm not doomed to the same mistakes (although they seem nearly impossible to break out of) because I get to start over. And in any one of a thousand other areas where I've messed up, I get to start over from where I am. Make a change. Try something different. Make a difference. It's discouraging if I look at how many times I've had to start over, but it does not change the fact that I am so lucky to have a new day, a fresh calendar, to try it again.

Isaiah 43
16 This is what the LORD says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,

17 who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:

18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

Unexpected gifts

I love to get gifts. I'm sure that at the ripe old age of 35, I should be completely over that, but I'm not. I love gifts. It's not about the price tag. It's about the surprise. The wrapping paper and the surprise.

I've determined that may be part of my difficulty getting into the Christmas spirit, everything is scripted and done according to the list and everyone is appreciative and we move on. There's nothing really wrong with that except...I like to give thoughtful gifts, spontaneous gifts, to people who appreciate those things. Luckily, I work with creative types who would appreciate that. Or, at the very least, appreciate pretty wrapping and bows. Unfortunately, my brain is mostly worn out this time of year so I go with predictable instead.

Last week I got a package at work from a designer who has become a friend. I thought it was work, so when I saw a gift instead...how exciting! A Psalms desk calendar with a lovely note..."I saw this and thought of you."

I love the gift (from someone who is a much better friend than I am, but that's really to be expected!), but even more, I love the note. OK, well, as much anyway. I needed the reminder. I want to be that kind of person...when a friend sees a Psalms calendar, I want them to think of me. I want to be thought of as someone who appreciates God's word. And, even when I don't know it, someone might be thinking of me.

Father, thank you so much for surrounding me with good friends. This time of year is hard and loneliness comes unexpectedly because I feel a little out of step in my family sometimes. It's good to know that my steps are just different, I'm in step with other people. Who like me, not because we has the same parents but because they like me. Help me to remember what's important and that you never leave me alone. And Father, I want people to know that I'm yours, when they see me, they think of you. Help me to be that person.