What about the world?

We just finished up a study on prayer at our work Bible study, so I've been thinking on choices for the next one. In the last lesson, these verses from James really made an impact on me:

Submit Yourselves to God
1What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
4You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?[a] 6But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."[b]

7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Just the week before, we had a Marketplace Connection lunch that really made an impact with some members of the Bible study. The topic: seeing yourself the way God sees you instead of the way the world sees you. It was one of those times where I spent more time praying to get a firm grip on my emotions than really soaking in the speaker's words. I wanted to cry. This is a topic that makes me want to cry.

I'm not exactly sure what to call it, but low self-esteem is one of the things I've fought for a lifetime and I'm afraid that it's going to be a battle forever. I was thinking about it on the way home, and I've made a decision that this is something that's completely unacceptable. My low self-esteem is a sin. It comes directly from listening to the world and it's my job to get over it. It's holding me back and keeping me from accomplishing God's goals in my life.

SO...the big question is what's next. When we talked about this verse, I mentioned how easy it is to slip into the world's way of thinking. I like to blend in with the crowd, not stand out. It's easy to perform for the world. As long as I look a certain way, say the right things, and avoid rocking the boat, I'm OK with the world. Maybe not quite good-looking enough or smart enough or popular enough or rich enough, but OK as long as I understand that what I have is not quite enough.

Of course, God didn't call me to blend in. The world is supposed to see a difference in me. As we talked about in the study, the only way to be different is to spend more time with God, to know His word so that instead of hearing all the ways that I'll never measure up, I hear what God has called me to do...with the skills he gave me, the talents, the body, the mind, the experience, the purpose he gave me.

Should be easy...right?

Never Let Go

Joy and pain, sun and rain...you never let go.

This is a song by Matt Redman that keeps running through my head. Now it can run through yours!

OK, so maybe I'm getting it

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”- 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. This would be one except that it was 84 degrees in my house this morning when I left it...so I'll be writing a large check for a brand spankin' new AC. That's OK.

But all week long I've been questioning myself...why do I live this way? why do I do the things I do? why can't I get this right?

They're difficult questions.
I still don't know the answer.
I think I'm seeing glimmers, though.

El-Roi is a God Who Sees. I've spent a lot of time in prayer this week, asking God to open my heart, to make me receptive to His will. I think He's doing it. I see things about my life and about myself that need to change. Only God can do that work. I've also opened myself up more to other Christians around me in my confusion and bewilderment...and they do not disappoint.

I hope that someone can say the same of me.

Lunch plans?

If you're local and you need some lunch plans next Thursday, come see what Marketplace Connection has going at Larry's Pizza on Hwy. 10. It's a ministry for women in the workplace and there will be pizza. What more do you need?

And this is my first effort to help out (and now I'm all critical of it. Isn't that just the way it is?) Next up: PowerPoint!

Power supply

Romans 15:13 (New International Version)
13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Some days it just does not pay to get out of bed. Right? I'm having those. It was an excellent weekend to be reminded of where my power comes from. I went to a cookout with the Sunday school class and instead of listening, I participated. I'm a very good listener...lots of practice. I am not a good "center of attention" so I don't usually spend much time there. But through the power of Christian fellowship, my attitude improved. No one had solutions or advice, but they did seem to care.

And through them, I'm reminded that God does care. No matter how small or unimportant in the big scheme my troubles are, God does care. To Him, I'm OK as I am, but He's not going to leave me there. And He is at work in my life.

Father, thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit. It is a gift of hope to know that you are at work in the hearts and lives of people all around the world, but more specifically, my heart and mind. You know how much I need the work! Thank you for leaving Another Comforter, a spirit of Counsel and Truth.

4 things we can learn from Prince Caspian

If you haven't read the books or seen the movie, this is going to be less than impressive. I went to see the second movie in the Chronicles of Narnia series, Prince Caspian this weekend. And I enjoyed it.

Here's a quick thing I found on the internet--4 things you can learn from Prince Caspian...
1. We must know, love, trust, and obey God, no matter the difficulties.

2. We must follow Christ, even if we follow him alone.

3. We must wait for the Lord.

4. We have joy in God’s presence, for we know he has won the victory, and we are more than conquerors in him.

It's really too bad how much we lose when books are made into movies. I know I understood more of Lewis' thoughts on Christian life from the book, but this is an excellent movie full of imagination and adventure...and temptation and battle and victory thanks to Aslan.

Good things

The freedom to speak about my faith...that's what this is. And I take it for granted. I'm going to do better (give me the "Sure, I've heard it all before" nod). A coworker just sent me a message asking for more information on the lunch Bible study that we're going to start tomorrow and her e-mail was a wake-up to me. It's easy to get caught up in day-to-day and forget what's important.

Saturday I worked on a flyer for Marketplace Connection, a local ministry for working women. And I felt good. Really good. Good enough to think I did a good job.
Sunday I went to church even though Mother's Day is painful to me...because I felt like my friends would miss me if I didn't. And I felt OK. I skipped a family invite because I was afraid it would push me over the edge from good to not good.
Today I had a root canal. I feel not good. And I feel pretty pitiful and mistreated and sad and poor...very, very poor.

It's good to have a reminder that there are good things happening all around, great things because God is at work in hearts of people that I don't even know yet. And God is working on me.

10 people in my lunch Bible study. That's a good thing...hope God's going to do a good job there!